The Census Bureau Test

Desperation leads to desperate measures..I need a job so I found myself taking a civil service exam.

Well, today I took the official civil service Census Bureau test. There I was, trapped in a room chock full of local yokels in rural Texas. They ranged from the man with no teeth who didn't know where he "stayed" to the lady with a neck brace that had taken the test over three times and still didn't pass.

The first half hour related to instructions on how to print your name on the outside of a manilla folder. This also included very detailed instructions on completing an application which contained such difficult mandatory information such as: name, address, phone number, and social security number. At least three in our group got lost after writing their name.

When the really nice gentleman who was our test giver tried to explain felony convictions, the world stopped spinning and there were glazed looks from two of the group. I'm sure they were pondering the "ifs" of court dates pending.

Needless to say, after an hour of explaining to Mr. No Teeth that frankly the census bureau didn't give a rat's ass where he was from, just where he resided, the tests were distributed. We went through at least ten more minutes in how to fill the little dots of the answer sheet. Fortunately, coloring on paper was a task our group could handle, with most equating the task with the highest level of eduction completed.

Tests distributed, pencils up, the clock started. I dove into the test easily. However, you did have to pay attention to what was written in the question. Simple math, clerical skills, map reading, and supervisory skills were included in the test. Several times, I had to lean away from the man next to me. Not because I feared he was cheating...it was more that I thought he had lice. He scratched his head the entire time and little white flecks drizzled from his hair like rain.

On completion of the test, I sat pondering the number of correct answers to work for our Census Bureau. There were a total of 28 questions in all. You'll love this...the total correct to be acceptable is 10. That's right, below 50%. However, as evidenced by the lady with air in her head, you can take the test repeatedly til you reach that magic number of 10.

The question I know you want to ask??? How many did I get right? The answer...26 out of 28 correct. Does this make me Government management material?